To Get Out of Our Little Heads
by letsbakecookies
Summary: "But still, he seems so sturdy, so strong, everything in his posture and expression screams "I'll be right here."  And now, more than anything, this is what she craves.   What she needs."


**Ugh, the word count is gross. Usually I can cough up at least 1,000 words, but it's like, 1:40 and I started writing around 12? So it also takes me longer to cough up that much, so. *shrug***

**Anyways, I was listening to Snow Patrol's Run (not Leona Lewis's cover. For the love of Castiel and all the is holy not the Leona Lewis cover.) and I could not get this idea out of my head. So, viola, I have transferred it from my brain to my computer.**

**Which is customary with writing I guess.**

**Review please! Thanks for reading!**

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><p>She takes slow, measured steps on the way to her parents' gravestones.<p>

In the past two weeks, three more of her parents' corpses now also lied in the small Mystic Falls cemetery that has seen way too much occupants lately.

She passes by Bonnie, Caroline, and nearly winces when she sees her brother and her history teacher.

They lost so much, and she owed it to them to maintain some semblance of stability.

At least for today.

She misses Jenna already. With her knowing smiles, her favorite brand of Tequila, those horrible reality shows she and Elena always watched over a pint of Chunky Monkey, and how hard so tried to protect both her and Jeremy.

She stops there, because she knows for a fact she isn't going to remain collected if she reflects on her last words.

Her last attempts.

She had so much ahead of her, her whole life. She was supposed to be studying for her thesis, partying with her dorm mates, moping over whatever fight her and Alaric had had over yogurt.

Maybe in ten years, she would've been married to Alaric, with dogs, and a picket fence, the whole nine yards. Maybe Elena would have had cousins, she'd babysat while his or her parents went out, when their dad went out drinking with his best friend, and Jeremy would tease him/her on a daily basis. Jenna being radient and joyful about finally getting her happily ever after.

No supernatural drama, she wants to keep Jenna's memory as happy and absolutely clueless.

Because she can't bare to think of her in any way else right now.

She keeps her walls up when she passes Stefan, who offers her a look and lightly pushes her in the direction of their graves. She'd normally find this notion comforting.

All it does is make her more upset. She can see the pity in his eyes, and she detests it. Even more than she despises the same emotion displayed on Caroline and Bonnie's face.

The realization that not even Stefan can help her right now is heart breaking.

She litters perfectly trimmed roses on her almost parents' graves. Jenna, and John.

His letter is still replaying in her head. It's like a broken record that she can't turn off no matter how hard she tries.

So instead of focusing on that, she gets up and kneels before her parents', the ones who raised her, graves.

And for some reason this is the spark that chips away the last of her mental barrier.

She almost curses herself for being so weak when Damon strides over in front of her, a walk with the least bravado from him she'd ever seen.

But still, he seems so sturdy, so strong, everything in his posture and expression screams "I'll be right here."

And now, more than anything, this is what she craves.

What she needs.

More tears fall as she continues to inspect Miranda and Grayson's graves, something she's done many times over the past year.

She realizes this whole experience has changed her in so many ways that she can't even put a name to them all.

She went from popular party girl, to girl who lost her parents, to a girl who seems to take everything that comes at her with a grain of salt.

And now she's the girl who just wants to break down, kick off these ridiculous heels, and fling herself into her boyfriend's brother's arms to just sob in his safe arms.

She thinks maybe if she molds herself to him just right, maybe he might give the strength to get up tomorrow.

She doesn't know when this happened, or how, or why she's even remotely considering finding comfort into someone who went from enemy, to friend, to enemy again, so something even she can't even put a label to.

She thinks it's the look in his eyes, the look he always reserves just for her that screams he'd always be right next to her as long as he could help it.

His humanity has never been more pure, more raw and easy for her to see. Despite the fact he'd almost made her into something terrible against her will, she doesn't fool herself into thinking she hates him anymore.

She can't, she knows this because she's tried so hard on multiple occasions.

Because right now, in this very moment, he's the only one who can make her feel alive when everything else is falling apart.

And that's worth everything to her right now.

But then, he walks away, she stands up, and the moment is over.

She goes home to take care of Jeremy, and offer Alaric a place to crash.

Because if she doesn't, no one will.


End file.
